Simple slogans for complicated people

When we get old there are some good days and more than our share of bad days. At least we have learned some healthy ways to celebrate the good and developed a better means to handle those that might otherwise do us in. For this alcoholic the ways continue to build on those that I learned when I chose to get sober more than three decades ago.

After having struggled throughout my life trying to manage the unmanageable, I made the decision to stop struggling, seek some help, and for the first time actually listen to a voice within to seek what has been called “the easier, softer way”. Mind you, none of this happened overnight, as I’ve heard it rarely does, but took a few years of trial and error during which I was able to get out of my own way, wake up, and listen to the hidden spirit within. I have come to believe that this intuition, or inspiration as it is called, now guides a more substantial portion if my thinking than it might have in the past when I was driven more by self-will and occasional spurts of grandiosity.

I found out that my defects of character, as they are referenced in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, invaded my consciousness at an early age. Without guardrails they overtook my thinking and actions while I attempted to develop meaningful relationships, build a career, and make sense of life. Like most alcoholics I have met in the meeting rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, I failed a few times in the relationship department, found career success wanting, and continued to experience irritability, restlessness, and discontent. And most often there was no obvious reason for failure and dis-ease. Now that I’m aging- more quickly than slowly it seems – I’m grateful that we have some resources like Seniors in Sobriety where we seniors can share our experience, strength and hope. I’ve heard that our AA program is a simple one for complicated people. I do agree that practicing some or all of the slogans we see posted on the walls of many of our meeting rooms may be one solution to simplify things:

Live and Let Live

One Day at a Time

Keep it Simple

Let go and let God

Easy Does It

First Things First

Progress not Perfection

This too Shall Pass

I challenge each of you to take the above slogans and consider how one or more may have affected your past and then how you might apply them to your current path in recovery. Thank you for the opportunity to share my experience, strength, and hope. And please join us at the weekly online Seniorsinsobriety Zoom meeting

Colinm – webmaster

Diet and Sobriety

Diet and Sobriety: How the Foods You Eat Actually Help Your Recovery Journey

The journey to sobriety is a difficult one. With all your willpower focused on that singular goal, the concept of adding dietary changes on top of everything else is daunting. Still, your body needs proper nutrition during your recovery journey. The right diet doesn’t just help with healing —  it can also help reduce stress, depression, and other triggers. 

Still, the last thing you want is some holier-than-thou article telling you what you can and cannot eat, so we’re going to knock the big part out the way first.

There’s No Such Thing as a Bad Food

One of the reasons why diets often fail is because we use a restrictive approach toward them. There’s a big focus on what you can’t have. You start thinking things like “I can’t have that slice of cake” or “I can’t order fast food”. This is counterproductive, since it not only encourages fixation on those forbidden foods, but it also riddles you with guilt when you eventually do cheat. That’s why so many diets end with people binge eating their formerly forbidden foods. 

This approach is hard enough as it is, but when you’re on the road to recovery from substance abuse, it’s dangerous. You’re already devoting a good portion of your willpower to recovery, so you really shouldn’t worry about cake of all things.

Here’s the approach to take with diet and sobriety: your number one priority should be your recovery. Things like weight, appearance, and all the other reasons diets are pushed onto us are secondary. If you want that slice of cake, go ahead and take it. If you just don’t have the energy to cook, go ahead and order fast food. Don’t deny yourself when it comes to food. 

Instead, your goal should be using food to support your sobriety journey by adding healthy options to your diet.

Why Change Your Diet?

Do you know what the most insidious thing about substance use is? Many substances strip your body of the nutrients it needs to make ‘feel good’ chemicals like serotonin and dopamine, while also causing damage to other parts of the body. You feel awful afterwards, so you turn to the substance again to alleviate that feeling, creating a vicious cycle that it can feel impossible to escape from.

Changing your diet won’t magically break that cycle. You’ll need support, both from medical professionals and the people you surround yourself with. However, it can help. 

One of your main goals during recovery, especially during the first year, should be using your diet to help restore your body’s ability to feel good on its own. This means, rather than focusing on things like calories and carbs, you should focus on adding things that help bring you back into balance. Here are some examples.

Hydration: Hydration is critical, doubly so if you’re just beginning your recovery journey. Alcohol and many other drugs lead to dehydration, and a lack of hydration can lead to worsened symptoms of depression, fatigue, anxiety, and general withdrawal. One good way to stay hydrated is by sneaking more liquids into your diet via fruit, soups, stews, and smoothies. Soups and smoothies in particular are a solid choice for early in your journey, as they also put less strain on your digestive system, which might be out of whack for a bit while you recover.

Fermented Foods: Gut health is a hot topic in the world of nutritional science. The bacteria living in your gut have been linked to all sorts of conditions, including how we manage stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, substance use has a tendency to kill off a lot of these good bacteria, leading to issues like constipation, nausea, diarrhea, depression, anxiety, and other unpleasantness. One way to correct this is by introducing fermented foods into your diet: this includes the familiar options like pickles and sauerkraut, but also things like kimchi, miso, and tempeh. If you hate the taste of pickles, yogurt with active cultures and raw honey are also good options. Find something you like, and try to incorporate it into more of your meals.

Healthy Options: Your diet should have a good balance of nutrients, proteins, and carbohydrates. One of the best ways to help with this is by keeping healthy snacks and meal options on hand. The goal here is to make it so you don’t have to think about eating healthy. A good beginner option is keeping mixed nuts and dried fruits on hand for those regular cravings. They’re high in protein and complex carbohydrates, and the salt and sugar help scratch some of the most common dietary itches we experience. Other solid options include easy to eat fruit (like grapes and bananas) or grabbing prepackaged salads from the local grocery store. The less you need to think about it, the easier it is to stick to.

Thanks to: Sarah M. at Medicare Studies

Overcoming Relapse: Steps To Get Back on Track With Your Addiction Recovery

Overcoming Relapse: Steps To Get Back on Track With Your Addiction Recovery

Addiction is a challenging and complex disease that requires consistent effort to overcome. But staying sober is not always easy and relapses are common, especially in the early stages of recovery.

While relapses are discouraging, they don’t mean failure. On the contrary, they should be seen as a learning opportunity and a chance to get back on track. Seniors In Sobriety discusses some specific steps you can take following a relapse that can help you get back to a successful recovery:

Going to a Rehab Center

Seeking professional help is often the first step in overcoming a relapse, and one of the best places to start is a rehab center. These facilities offer comprehensive treatment programs that can help you detox, manage withdrawal symptoms, and address the underlying issues that led to your addiction. These programs also provide access to trained professionals who can offer therapy, support, and guidance on recovery.

Choosing the right rehab center in your state is crucial to ensuring long-term recovery. Take time to compare the treatments, credentials, and prices of various facilities to make an informed decision.

Attending AA (or NA)

Going to AA meetings after a relapse can do wonders in helping you regain your sobriety and get back on track. Attending meetings is a fundamental principle of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program, which emphasizes the importance of sharing experiences, strengths, and hopes with others who have faced similar challenges.

The primary principles of AA and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) programs include:

  • Admitting powerlessness over addiction
  • Surrendering to a higher power
  • Taking an inventory of past actions
  • Making amends for mistakes
  • Helping others who are struggling with addiction

Going to meetings can provide a sense of community and support while reinforcing these principles. It’s also essential to work with a sponsor or mentor who can guide you and keep you accountable throughout the recovery process.

Implementing Healthy Habits

After leaving a rehab center, it’s critical to maintain healthy habits in daily life. This can include eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, sleeping enough, and participating in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

A healthy lifestyle can significantly impact your physical and mental health, reducing the risk of relapse in the future. It’s essential to remember that recovery is not just about abstaining from drug and alcohol use; it’s a lifestyle shift toward healthier habits.

Forgiving Yourself

One of the hardest aspects of relapse is dealing with the shame and guilt that follows. These negative feelings can be overwhelming and lead to further escalation and relapse.

It’s important to understand that relapse is a normal part of the addiction recovery journey, and you must learn to forgive yourself. Practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness can help you move forward with your recovery and build a new, better life.

Staying in Touch With Supportive People

A supportive network of family and friends is also essential in maintaining sobriety, particularly after a relapse. These individuals can give you emotional support, advice, and encouragement when you need it the most. Just make sure you maintain regular check-ins, be open and honest about your struggles, and ask for help when you need it.

Remaining Flexible With Your Strategy

Recovery is a dynamic process, and what works for one person may not work for another. Therefore, it’s vital to stay flexible with your sobriety strategy so you can adapt to new challenges and circumstances as they arise.

Creating a long-term recovery plan with milestones and goals can help keep you accountable and motivated. Still, you must understand that life is unpredictable, and being flexible with your recovery plan will help you avoid feelings of failure or disappointment in the event of a relapse.

Wrapping Up

A relapse is not the end of the road to addiction recovery but an opportunity for growth and learning. You can get back on track to achieving sobriety and staying there with a few small steps.

Keep the tips above in mind as you pick yourself back up, and remember that recovery is a journey — not a destination. Give yourself grace and support along the way, and you can overcome relapse and achieve long-lasting, meaningful recovery.

Would you like to read more helpful content or learn about our meetings? Visit SeniorsInSobriety.com today!

Thanks to Teresa Greenhill – info@mentalhealthforseniors.com

Addiction Recovery Advice for Couples

Photo Credit: Katarzyna Grabowska via Unsplash

Addiction Recovery Advice for Couples: How to Heal Together

Many people in the U.S. are struggling with addiction. If you or your spouse are suffering from addiction, your marriage could be threatened. However, with the right professional help, it’s still possible to salvage your marriage and overcome addiction. Here is some advice from Seniors in Sobriety that can help you in your recovery.

Help Your Spouse Get Treatment

As difficult as it is, you’ll need to talk to your spouse about their addiction – preferably when they are sober and in a good mood. Discuss the issue in a non-judgmental way and speak calmly. Talk honestly about how the addiction affects you and your marriage.

If your spouse denies they have a problem or refuses to seek help, consider staging an intervention. Talk to their close friends and loved ones to get them involved. Consider enlisting the help of an intervention specialist.

There are various treatment options available including outpatient, inpatient, 12-step programs, medication, family therapy, and individual therapy. The intervention specialist will help you find an addiction expert who will guide you in choosing the most suitable treatment approach.

Support Your Spouse Through Recovery

Create a positive and healthy living environment that promotes health and sobriety. Keep up a consistent family routine. Promote positivity by keeping your home clean and decluttered. Attend couples counseling sessions regularly to work on your relationship. Learn about addiction, treatment, and recovery. It will help you understand your partner’s journey and be able to offer support accordingly.

Take Care of Yourself

It is essential to take care of yourself. Otherwise, you can easily be sucked into a self-destructive pattern. Find ways to cope with your stress, communicate effectively, and avoid codependency. Join support groups that help family members, spouses, and caretakers who are dealing with a loved one’s addiction.

Mind your work-life balance as well, to make sure you’re giving yourself enough time for self-care. After all, you’ve already learned that when you’re in a relationship, what impacts one person impacts the other, as well. So spend some time committing to self-care activities such as exercise, taking up a hobby, socializing, eating well, and getting enough quality sleep.

Pursue Your Own Goals

It’s vital to continue moving forward with your life, including practicing self-care, taking care of your household, and tending your career goals. Sometimes adjustments need to be made in order to juggle it all. Maybe you need to lean on family members for the occasional errand or pet/child care. You can ask your employer for remote work options, or if you’re going back to school, transition to a remote learning opportunity.

Consider this option if you plan to go back to school: an MBA from an accredited online university. Not only can you pursue classes on your own schedule (and from any location), your degree will help you in a variety of career goals when you are done because an MBA is a very versatile degree.

Separation Among Couples in Recovery Treatment

It is devastating watching your partner’s health deteriorate. You have to deal with difficult issues such as lying, instances of aggression, unpredictable mood changes, inability to meet their responsibilities, and financial strain. It is especially difficult if your addicted spouse refuses to seek treatment.

Your spouse’s addiction may have adverse effects on you, and you may feel like you are permanently tied to a sinking ship. Amid the seemingly unending challenges and hopelessness, it would be understandable if you wanted to file for a divorce. But you may want to consider a separation first.

A separation could be the wake-up call that your spouse needs to take action to deal with their addiction, and it gives you some space to think clearly and get help for yourself. However, you may need to consider divorce if your spouse is abusive or habitually unfaithful, their addiction and behavior pose a danger to you or your family members, or their addiction has caused a financial crisis. Talk to an attorney to determine the best way to go about it.

If you need some space or if it’s time to start over, find a suitable and affordable living situation. Take the stress out of finding a new place by visiting an apartment-finding site online. You can tailor your search to what you’re willing to spend and amenities you desire. 

Be Kind to Yourself and Your Partner

 Recovery is a difficult process for the addict and their support system. Be patient with yourself and your partner. Recovery takes time, commitment, and effort. Work with an addiction specialist to get the help you need to start repairing your marriage and take advantage of the many resources available to you to preserve your mental health during this process.

Are you looking for a supportive community of others in recovery? Then visit Seniors in Sobriety and look into joining some of our many events!

Thanks to Teresa Greenhill

Settling In After a Post-retirement Move

Retirement is the second most common reason for moving after a job change.  Many choose to relocate during their senior years based on weather, proximity to family, convenience, or downsizing. Although moving at any time can be a stressful event especially if you’re in recovery, moving post-retirement may involve clearing out decades of accumulated belongings if you’ve been in one home for a good while. So allow yourself plenty of time to make the big decisions and approach the process of downsizing with patience.

Make the new place secure and workable

We all want to feel safe in our homes, and this should be a focus as you set up your new place. You may want to add a home security system, motion detector lights, deadbolts on windows and doors, and/or security cameras. Smoke and carbon monoxide detectors will help to ensure that you’re alerted if problems with fresh air or fire should occur. If you already have such devices in the home, begin by installing fresh batteries in them.

If grandchildren or other kids will be visiting, it’s important to child-proof your home. When you set up utilities for your new place, consider going with automatic payments directly from your bank account. You might want to create an outdoor area, such as a porch, patio, balcony, or backyard, where you have comfortable seating, outdoor cooking facilities, or a garden.

Make it feel like home

Remember that it takes some time to feel at home in a new place, so it won’t happen overnight. Begin by giving the place a thorough cleaning, which is a great way to become more familiar with your home. You can enlist professional help for the tasks you’d rather not do. Make good use of any available natural light. Top-down blinds are a good option since they let in light and still provide privacy. Sometimes mirrors can be used to reflect light coming in a window and give a more spacious look, too.

Be sure to hang your favorite pictures, and have some familiar beloved objects where you can enjoy them. You may want to add a few new touches, too, such as a brand-new welcome mat at the front door. A fresh coat of paint can brighten things up and add either calming or enlivening colors, as you like.

Consider a home warranty

A home warranty is an annually renewable insurance policy that covers the major appliances and systems in your new home. This is different from home insurance which covers damage from weather, accidents, or break-ins. A home warranty can be customized to cover the heating and air conditioning systems, kitchen appliances, and in some cases, even electrical or plumbing systems. Such a policy can provide peace of mind, particularly if you bought a home with older appliances or an HVAC system that is nearing the end of its life.

When looking for warranty companies in Arizona, it’s important to check out the reviews for various companies and consider what they cover, the cost, the level of customer service offered, and what your needs and concerns are.

Moving after you retire can bring many challenges as well as a fresh start. If you downsize, you may be delighted with the reduction in home maintenance chores you’ll have to do. While culling your belongings in order to give away, sell, donate, or discard them can be a big task, you’ll feel a good bit less encumbered without all those things. You can decorate your new place, so it feels like home to you. While you’re setting up your life in the new dwelling, consider purchasing a home warranty to cover the costs of repairing major appliances or systems in your home. Once the dust has settled, and things are put away, you’ll be enjoying your life in the place that now feels like home.

If you’re a senior in recovery, join the Seniors In Sobriety Zoom meeting to find support and keep your recovery on track.

Article author:  Teresa Greenhill – info@mentalhealthforseniors.com